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Unemployed Philosophers Guild

Unemployed Philosophers Guild wholesale

Top Shop

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Star

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Brooklyn, NY

Delivers by Nov 18-Dec 1

About Unemployed Philosophers Guild

The origins of the Unemployed Philosophers Guild are shrouded in mystery. Some accounts trace the Guild's birth to Athens in the latter half of the 4th century BCE. Allegedly, several lesser philosophers grew weary of the endless Socratic dialogue endemic in their trade and turned to crafting household implements and playthings. (Hence the assertions that Socrates quaffed his hemlock poison from a Guild-designed chalice, though vigorous debate surrounds the question of whether it was a "disappearing" chalice.) Others argue that the UPG dates from the High Middle Ages, when the Philosophers Guild entered the world of commerce by selling bawdy pamphlets to pilgrims facing long lines for the restroom. Business boomed until 1211 when Pope Innocent III condemned the publications. Not surprisingly, this led to increased sales, even as half our membership was burned at the stake. More recently, revisionist historians have pinpointed the birth of the Guild to the time it was still cool to live in New York City's Lower East Side. Two brothers turned their inner creativity and love of paying rent towards fulfilling the people's needs for finger puppets, warm slippers, coffee cups, and cracking up at stuff. Most of the proceeds go to unemployed philosophers (and their associates). A portion also goes to some groups working on profound causes.

TRUSTED BY HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF RETAILERS

Ratings and reviews

Top Shop celebrates exceptional brands who have earned a 4.8+ rating over the last 12 months, fulfill orders quickly and smoothly, and maintain a fresh catalog.

4.9

Brand rating (511 reviews)

5

492

4

12

3

4

2

1

1

2

5.0

Product quality

5.0

Fulfillment

5.0

Communication

I want to just keep everything it’s so good! I know many more orders are to come

I want to just keep everything it’s so good! I know many more orders are to come

Nov 3, 2026 • Kathy • Murrieta, CA, United States

Purchased products:

Purchased product: Disappearing Civil Liberties Heat-Changing Mug
Purchased product: FemiNotes Sticky Notes
Purchased product: First Aid Sticky Notes
Purchased product: Mini Masterpieces Notebook
Purchased product: Musical Notes Sticky Notes
Purchased product: OBalma Lip Balm - Peppermint Flavor
Purchased product: Rocky Horror Quote Mug
Purchased product: Trumpzilla Wind-Up Toy
Purchased product: Uranus Soap
Purchased product: Wonderland Sticky Notes

My customers love everything I have ever had from UPG. They are well-designed, well-made, and wonderfully clever!

My customers love everything I have ever had from UPG. They are well-designed, well-made, and wonderfully clever!

Oct 26, 2026 • Leah • Fort Smith, AR, United States

Purchased products:

Purchased product: Alice Card
Purchased product: Countertop Notebook Display (notebooks included)
Purchased product: Edgar Allan Poe Card
Purchased product: Midnight Dreary Poe Scented Jar Candle
Purchased product: Munch's Scream Card
Purchased product: Neverland Fairy Dust Scented Jar Candle
Purchased product: Pemberley Jane Austen Scented Jar Candle
Purchased product: Poe's Raven "Nevermore" mints
Purchased product: Tea & Madness Alice in Wonderland Scented Jar Candle

Beautiful products with sense of fine humour

Beautiful products with sense of fine humour

Oct 22, 2026 • Elena • Gatineau, QC, Canada

Purchased products:

Purchased product: Achilles Heel Soap
Purchased product: Alice's Tiny Little Hand Soap
Purchased product: Freud's Wash FulFillment Soap
Purchased product: Great Wave Bath Soap
Purchased product: Medusa's Rare Beauty Bar Soap
Purchased product: Minotaur Mud Bar Soap
Purchased product: Nihilism Soap
Purchased product: Persephone's Return of Spring Bar Soap
Purchased product: Poseidon's Trident and true Bar Soap
Purchased product: Shakespeare's Bard of Soap

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