
Unemployed Philosophers Guild wholesale
Top Shop
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Earn a 4.8+ rating over the last 12 months
Fulfill orders quickly & smoothly
Run a world-class shop page
Maintain a fresh catalog
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Brooklyn, NY
Delivers by Nov 18-Dec 1
About Unemployed Philosophers Guild
The origins of the Unemployed Philosophers Guild are shrouded in mystery. Some accounts trace the Guild's birth to Athens in the latter half of the 4th century BCE. Allegedly, several lesser philosophers grew weary of the endless Socratic dialogue endemic in their trade and turned to crafting household implements and playthings. (Hence the assertions that Socrates quaffed his hemlock poison from a Guild-designed chalice, though vigorous debate surrounds the question of whether it was a "disappearing" chalice.) Others argue that the UPG dates from the High Middle Ages, when the Philosophers Guild entered the world of commerce by selling bawdy pamphlets to pilgrims facing long lines for the restroom. Business boomed until 1211 when Pope Innocent III condemned the publications. Not surprisingly, this led to increased sales, even as half our membership was burned at the stake. More recently, revisionist historians have pinpointed the birth of the Guild to the time it was still cool to live in New York City's Lower East Side. Two brothers turned their inner creativity and love of paying rent towards fulfilling the people's needs for finger puppets, warm slippers, coffee cups, and cracking up at stuff. Most of the proceeds go to unemployed philosophers (and their associates). A portion also goes to some groups working on profound causes.
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Ratings and reviews
Top Shop celebrates exceptional brands who have earned a 4.8+ rating over the last 12 months, fulfill orders quickly and smoothly, and maintain a fresh catalog.
4.9
Brand rating (511 reviews)
5
492
4
12
3
4
2
1
1
2
5.0
Product quality
5.0
Fulfillment
5.0
Communication
I want to just keep everything it’s so good! I know many more orders are to come
I want to just keep everything it’s so good! I know many more orders are to come
Nov 3, 2026 • Kathy • Murrieta, CA, United States
My customers love everything I have ever had from UPG. They are well-designed, well-made, and wonderfully clever!
My customers love everything I have ever had from UPG. They are well-designed, well-made, and wonderfully clever!
Oct 26, 2026 • Leah • Fort Smith, AR, United States
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